What do you love about your depression?

One thing I absolutely love about depression (and I am being sarcastic here) is not being able to string together a sentence, like you feel finding a couple of words would be an achievement, let alone then having to put them into a sentence. Obviously as a writer this creates a bit of a problem.

Another thing I love how everything starts to build up around you. Plates go unwashed, the toilet doesn’t get bleached, the shopping list has been written on back, front, and in the margins, the milk has gone off, something else must have gone off in the fridge because it reeks, and come to think of that, I reek too. Did I wash yesterday, or was that the day before? My teeth feel fuzzy, when did I brush them last? The satisfaction though of clearing all the grime from the toilet bowl, of running riot in the aisles of Tesco, of emerging from the shower smelling like roses.

And that’s another thing. How time becomes irrelevant. Considering how many people seem eager to tell you you haven’t done that in forever, we haven’t done that in ages, or you missed my party didn’t you realise it was last week? When your mind gets lost in the depression fog it couldn’t care less what day it is, or what time of day it is. Gas bill, rent due, speeding fine? Nope, depression takes it all into its black hole: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And that’s my fourth thing. Depression renders you incapable of caring about a damn thing. It pitches you into hyperbole alley. Oh my God, the gas will be cut off if I don’t pay the bill, or oh my God, if I can’t pay my rent I’ll be homeless, or worse I might end up living back with my parents. One minute you are capable of paying a bill, the next you have no idea.

Never mind the guilt of having called your boyfriend names because he was there, the anxiety of not being able to function, the sheer panic of why can’t I even get out of bed, and etc.

And with depression don’t you love that society has stigmatised it to the point you wouldn’t dare admit to your closest friend I have depression, I hate myself, I hate my life, I am an awful person, I can’t even keep a pot plant alive. Do you ever give yourself a break? Do you say but I’m ill? No, we struggle on. Broken leg? Let’s fix that. Bumped your head? Let’s get that seen to.

You have depression? It’ll be OK tomorrow. I hate myself? It’s not all about you. I hate my life? You need to get a job. I am an awful person? You know you’re not. I can’t even keep a pot plant alive? Laughter.

And depression loves that. It thrives on silence. If we aren’t talking about it we’re keeping parts of ourselves in the closet. Secrets are lethal. Secrets give you stress, and make you ashamed. Shame drives a lot of people, so does stress, and that’s usually to the grave.

So, what do you love about your depression?


Continue reading “What do you love about your depression?”

The Vanished Child M J Lee @WriterMJLee @rararesources

 

The Vanished Child

What would you do if you discovered you had a brother you never knew existed?

On her deathbed, Freda Duckworth confesses to giving birth to an illegitimate child in 1944 and temporarily placing him in a children’s home. She returned later but he had vanished. 

What happened to the child? Why did he disappear? Where did he go? 

Jayne Sinclair, genealogical investigator, is faced with lies, secrets, and one of the most shameful episodes in recent history as she attempts to uncover the truth.

Can she find the vanished child?

This book is the fourth in the Jayne Sinclair Genealogical Mystery series, but can be read as a standalone novel.

Every childhood lasts a lifetime.

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Author Bio – Martin has spent most of his adult life writing in one form or another. As a University researcher in history, he wrote pages of notes on reams of obscure topics. As a social worker with Vietnamese refugees, he wrote memoranda. And, as the creative director of an advertising agency, he has written print and press ads, tv commercials, short films and innumerable backs of cornflake packets and hotel websites.

He has spent 25 years of his life working outside the North of England. In London, Hong Kong, Taipei, Singapore, Bangkok and Shanghai, winning awards from Cannes, One Show, D&AD, New York and London Festivals, and the United Nations.

When he’s not writing, he splits his time between the UK and Asia, taking pleasure in playing with his daughter, researching his family history, single-handedly solving the problem of the French wine lake and wishing he were George Clooney.

 

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Giveaway. The Last Dance, by Lonna Enox.

Book Details:

Book Title: The Last Dance by Lonna Enox

Category: Adult Fiction, 226 pages

Genre: Mystery, Thriller & Suspense, Women Sleuths

Publisher: Lonna Enox Publications

Release date: June 24, 2016

Tour dates: June 18 to July 13, 2018

Content Rating: PG-13 + M

Book Description:

Saddle Gap, a quiet little town in southwestern New Mexico, seems the perfect place for Sorrel Janes to start her life over. But within a few days, she finds herself entangled in two murders, the object of harassment, and the number one suspect in a murder. Will her past terrors destroy her future dreams? Amid the evolving conflicts, she resolves to reconstruct her new life and find happiness. Detective Chris Reed is equally resolved to solve the murders as well as Sorrels secrets. Neither of them suspects where the steps of this dance will lead, but they are too stubborn to sit this one out.

To follow the tour, please visit Lonna Enox’s page on iRead Book Tours.

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Meet the Author:

Lonna Enox is a former high school and college English instructor. She grew up on a ranch in New Mexico, where she learned to love critters, reading, and “wide open” spaces. She is a wife, mom, and grandmother, as well as the proud owner of 4 rescue pets–3 cats and a dog. Aside from an early stint as a newspaper reporter, she also spent 10 years as a freelance magazine writer. She is happiest exploring a wildlife refuge, cuddling little ones and critters, or snuggled up reading a good mystery. Lonna is a professional writer with over 250 printed articles in a variety of national and regional magazines. She has written in several genres and The Last Dance is her debut mystery.

Connect with the author: Website ~ Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Pinterest ~ Instagram

Enter the Giveaway!

Ends Jule 21, 2018

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