The thoughts I had before embarking on counselling sessions: 1. Feel this is a monumental experience that will either make or break the rest of my life And 2. Immediately feel I’m fine now and I don’t need to talk to anyone Anxiety (=fear) really does drive you to think the worst, doesn’t it? I have now had two months of weekly counselling sessions and: 1. It will not break, it will make And 2. You are not fine, and that’s ok. Once you start talking you will feel differently about those experiences you are ashamed, scared and unsure of. Then you can begin to move on.
i wouldn’t know the name of the dentist i am about to see but there is a form to fill, personal details will i need a second appointment? pace the waiting room tv too loud to hear own thoughts far too intimate open my mouth – i wouldn’t do this on a first date let alone for a dentist, chest hair yawning from his blue uniform shirt lay back, blinded – gazed directly into the light metal instruments clink, meet my incisors
Published by Biteback A story of the early relationship of the legendary football partnership of Clough and Taylor, their playing careers, their managerial careers, and the book caps off just as the pair were enjoying success with Nottingham Forest FC. The football club where the pair lifted numerous trophies.
Published by Penguin A fascinating insight into the early traditions of football, thoroughly well researched, and well written. The book gives a balanced view of life in Sheffield in the 1940s, society and its changes during the war, and how football was consumed, and reflected society as it was then, by the working class. You have to admire the dedication, and hard work that Gordon Banks put into training himself into the amazing goalkeeper that he was for Chesterfield, Leicester, Stoke and England. Gordon Banks gives us his experiences of that ‘66 World Cup win and the subsequent strange goings on during the ‘70 World Cup in Mexico. Astonishing read.
There are a few people I follow on Instagram who claim to be happy. Over the last few weeks I have come to think how are they happy? How do you be happy? I am happy in moments, but my fine grip on routine and consistency means everything is fraught with worry. Recognising when I am in a moment of happiness is all well and good but then I ask what about, what if, what happens after etc. It’s amazing to think of people being consistently happy. Living every day on an even keel. I cannot imagine the confidence that would give you. In fact, it makes me a little afraid to think about being happy. What if you lose it again? How difficult is it to keep a hold of? I imagine happiness on a weekly, monthly basis must be normal. To be in a state of not thinking about the pitfalls. A person safely lodged into their own routine, amongst their friends, doing their own thing.
Any thoughts on this? How do you feel about being happy?