should i write about this

My Patreon is an exclusive blog for subscribers to access my writing. The poems will be unpublished, maybe some drafts and poem projects I’m working on (I might even post some of my stories)
Your support will allow me to become financially independent and will boost my confidence that you want to support me in this way!
This poem can be read on my Patreon.


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Does technology make us more or less likely to be lonely?

 

 

 

Loneliness comes in various guises. Sometimes you want to connect, to talk with somebody. Desperately wanting to know someone is willing to talk with you. Sometimes it’s that ache of needing to be hugged, because it’s been so long. Other times it’s just wanting a laugh and forgetting you live half of your life inside your own head. It’s knowing you don’t have a friend to tag in giveaways on Twitter, won’t need an extra seat, and second guessing every damn decision you make. 

I remember feeling the loss when I was rejected by friends as a seven-year-old. Friends that thought I was a little bit strange, intense, overzealous.
For me it is ingrained now, loneliness. I find my own solutions, sometimes through poetry, and other times good old Google helps me out.

 
Does technology make us more or less likely to be lonely? I don’t know.

 

It is different for everybody. I didn’t grow up with technology the likes we have now. I remember tapes and VHS and floppy discs and the house phone. When I begin to use the internet in my late teens I found community and people that I could engage with. It’s incredibly easy to talk to people online when you aren’t so used to it offline. Which is where I have to say it’s about balance. If life offline is OK then it’s much easier to regulate what you are doing online. You won’t be vulnerable to coming into contact with that disease called scroll and compare.


everything is connected neon light signage
Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

 

 

 

 

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Why Would I Want to Follow the Lives of Famous People?

This is important to me. I am in the process of writing a book, a memoir of my experiences with depression and anxiety, amongst other subjects. I am drawing the material from diary entries, chapbooks, and poems I have written over the years. This poem was published by Selcouth Station in October last year. it is one of two longer mental health poems I have written. Whether I will self-publish this book, or find a publisher for it, or if it will be 50 pages or 500, or if it will take me 23 years or 53 to write I do not know. It is a slow and steady process. 

photo of dried roses
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

 

Why Would I Want to Follow the Lives of Famous People?


 

 

i used to be baffled by Twitter

why would i want to follow the lives of famous people?

more than likely it was my desire to belong
which lead me to sign up

and after that
Twitter
Facebook
Blogger
Tumblr
WordPress
Linkedin
Instagram

before all of that
a computer was in the front room
and that is where it stayed
Laptop’s were shared between siblings
Nokia’s were used for distraction – games
and a BBM was sent via Blackberry
i remember when the computer suite was opened
in school with much publicity
now it’s a given
there will be computers in every classroom

i would take long walks as a teenager
i was solitary
after a school day ended
i needed to clear my head

i was out for hours
rain or shine

i liked the way my muscles would ache –
i felt that I was growing stronger

i have mental health problems

perhaps social media
pushed open that door further

i never used to doubt myself so much

the anxiety festering

what am i missing

who am i not comparing myself with

brought in from the outside world
to the one with optical illusions

easily led by the
wrong influences

i have withered,
and wilted

my soul has died a little
in blackouts, vodka, and violence

allowed myself to be the puppet

had the imperious curse cast on me

and what i need now
is the time
and space
to clear my head
and grow

your concerns were not mine

i didn’t want them

i never did.


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