My experiences with food and drink with depression

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This week’s, no last week’s, meal plan. This was a success. Because I have had depression, it is difficult to reign in eating sandwiches and crisps and it makes making a choice what to have for dinner hard too. With the meals written down, it feels like a commitment and is a closed choice. You know, those are the choices, pick one or the other. It’s flexible, I haven’t eaten all these meals this week. Because there were leftovers to be eaten. I had spag bol for breakfast. It was delicious. I live with my boyfriend. There’s two of us. Our weekly shop usually comes to eighty or ninety pounds.


With this meal plan as well, I have been able to eat vegetables. With depression, you don’t tend to reach first to fill up on vegetables. So I mashed cauliflower into the potatoes and with the pasta sauce I chopped up carrots, celery and onion. I figure if you can chop them up small enough, veggies are adept at hiding in sauces and potatoes. Mash needs some flavour, otherwise it’s like eating clouds or wet paper. Not that I enjoy eating cauliflower, I should have got broccoli. I confuse the two.
My go to meal is baked beans, bacon, eggs and waffles. That can be cooked in fifteen minutes. It doesn’t take too long to eat. It’s filling. Not too painful. Of course, if you – like me have a ton of washing up to do and have no cooking utensils to hand, cereal and yogurt are another one of my go to’s.


When it comes to liquids, I do buy bottles of water. I know it’s terrible for the planet, but it is easier to stay hydrated when depressed when you can grab a bottle from the fridge. I do own a refillable bottle, and obviously with depression the effort required to clean, fill and refrigerate it can be beyond me. I do use it when I can. Alcohol is something I try to not drink when I am depressed. Like I say, I try. I admire those who can have one drink and then stop. I know there are a lot of lockdown drinking memes around. Plenty of people quipping, ‘I’ll have a drinking problem when I get out of lockdown!’ And the truth of it is people may well have become alcohol reliant in current circumstances. That’s the thing with alcohol, it starts as one drink of an evening and then can become two or three into the night. Never mind the damage inflicted on your body in the short term during this lockdown. As I mentioned earlier some people can have one drink, and humour is what people use to cope. Even if it is inappropriate, it is in my eyes – but if you haven’t experienced addiction and alcoholism, then it won’t be. I think alcohol is a poison and is like knocking back paint stripper or similar concoctions that are found in the shed with a large warning sign on the side of them.
In any case, it certainly does not help depression.


I used to be the person like water?! It’s disgusting and naff. No thank you. Now I am advocating people drink water. I have grown.


potter

Making changes


made a banging Shepherd’s pie the other day. i was thinking how a year & a bit ago i wouldn’t have gone near the kitchen. my bf would make dinner or it would be sandwiches or a takeaway (i used to eat way too much fried chicken) bk then i was struggling to have the confidence to make scrambled eggs. what’s changed other than my realising i needed to make changes to be health -ier & making the effort, even when i wanted to run for the hills, far far away from the kitchen. the kitchen where i was probably making too many mistakes & getting measurements wrong & thinking this is going to taste like crap & why do i bother & this is stupid. then i started looking at recipes & thinking maybe, maybe. then it was omlettes. i love eating omlettes when i’m in Portugal & bk home even my bf was stumped at how you make them. my early omlettes was fucking awful. i mean how you can fuck up cooking a few eggs, who knows. eggs do their own thing anyway, most of the time. now i’m cooking things that have more than two ingredients to keep an eye on & have less basic instructions to ’em. i don’t know what im meant to deduce from this, apart from –


✴️ habits are hard to start & require patience at first ✴️ you don’t have to believe in yourself  to start, you need the desire & whatnot ✴️ my anxiety tells me a lot of bs ✴️ some activities like cooking are what they are & you can be in the present moment & not be looking too far ahead  or too far bk ✴️ fucking up can be fun, it isn’t the end of the world ✴️ if you want to do something, do it & don’t be looking for someone else’s approval


written by Kate @k_lpoetry


p.s if you’re looking for a new read, 12  micro-poems in Pocket Poems from my Payhip store

#NaPoWriMo Time Reserved for the Writer: A Poem.

How’s everyone’s NaPoWriMo going? I am consuming a lot of toast, whilst writing in the early hours. Naturally inspiration struck!

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Picture Courtesy of PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay.com

Time Reserved for the Writer

toast on the grill –
late night snack
use the knife
to spear each slice onto
shake it off
onto the plate –
warm –
just been washed


Want more poetry? Try Here comes the Sun

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