Feeling like an Imposter.

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Imposter Syndrome is very very real right now. 

I have always been very good at the writing part of … writing, and not so much at the discipline of editing, and whatnot. Ever since the bug of poetry bit me at the age of sixteen I have written continually on whatever bits of paper I might find laying around, with whichever pen might happen to work. I joined a writing site soon after that and enjoyed interacting and sharing my writing with a community of other likeminded people. I started sending some of those poems to literary publications when I was eighteen. And now I am twenty-three, I have had my poems published online and in print. I have met and read a lot of writers online in that time too. Sometimes it seems the only thing that keeps me sane. I love discovering new writers.

Writing has always been my way of communication from when I was a little girl. Writing this I cringe a little inside because I am more comfortable writing from a poem point of view, than from my own. That’s because I’m not a confident person and don’t like to share my thoughts outwardly because of fear of people telling me I’m wrong or being stupid. I keep reminding myself I’m an adult now and not a child, but coping mechanisms die hard!

I guess writing, and poetry stopped me from becoming lonely too. I was a very quiet, sensitive, and shy child, and I often felt shunned by family, teachers, friends. Writing reminded me I was alive at times, that I had some kind of power. Reading has that same impact too. Words can become a healing balm.

Over the last few months I have felt shut out from poetry, and a little adrift from the community. It seems like it has become a popularity contest? I have gotten into the nasty habit of comparison with fellow poets. Why are they being published and I’m not? What’s wrong with my voice? Do you read my poetry and recognize how uneducated I am, how limited my vocabulary can be because of where I’m from? 

Any suggestions on how to beat Imposter Syndrome?

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Ghost City Press Summer micro -chapbook series. Week 1 & 2.

We are into week two of Ghost City Press’s summer micro-chapbook series!

Here are the six chaps that have been released so far.

Graphic 3 by Rachelle Toarmino

Book of Mirrors by Bara Hladikova

Area Woman by Lily Trotta

Ironbound Fados by Carla Sofia Ferriera

The Shelves Exist by Gervanna Stephens

Heatstroke by Christee Henry

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The Afternoon Crowd.

The Afternoon Crowd

Beer glass left / abandoned / on the edge of the table / beside the slot machine / half moon lemon / in a tumbler / slumped against its glass side / ordering drinks between songs / the live band sets up / instruments / tests the sound / cobwebs of froth on the empty beer glass / beginning to disappear /

Because I didn’t feel welcome in my old home, I used to spend a lot of time finding somewhere else to be. Like pubs. The sort that are rapidly becoming replaced by chain owned establishments. Maybe that’s a good thing. Times change, after all. They must. This is a snippet dedicated to the places that have given me somewhere to be.

Want more poetry? Try Here comes the Sun