A poem. A-Level Results. ‘You can only be angry for so long before you become,’

A-Level Results

published Anti-Heroin Chic

chairs classroom college desks
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whether it is on Facebook
in the national or local newspaper
children, well, teenagers
are pictured leaping for joy
as they have received their A-Level results
to be able to get into their first choice university
and i remember –
have many regrets
i am twenty-two
struggling with the basics
it is difficult not to believe
that i am an unemployed loser
with a minimal education

cut short by ill mental health
that was never
diagnosed
in school

i hated life was mapped-
school, college, university
for everybody but me
because even then
i didn’t think my life
was going to go as planned

it is hard not to be bitter

but we all have choices
at some point
you have to make them

and quit blaming
perpetrators and circumstances

you can only be angry for so long
before you become the person
at the end of the bar
bitter, drunk
crunching on pork scratchings
and scowling at the people that dare
laugh, or raise their voice
near you

decide
from now
on in

my life is mine to be controlled.

K.L

 


Want more poetry? Try Here comes the Sun

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Popular Song. Poem She’s a.

She’s a

published Anti-Heroin Chic

adult casual collection fashion
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people around her cycle like a cyclone
dancers creating the aura of a lead
you think wow blimey
i imagine she is popular
but i am not sure
her eyes shine too brightly
and her smile is too stretched
like get out of my way
you crazy idiots!
i want to be me

-You lose yourself in other people


Want more poetry? Try Here comes the Sun

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You can call me all you like, but I would rather converse through email

You can call me all you like, but I would rather converse through email

marketing office working business
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STOP CALLING ME
STOP ASKING ME TO CALL YOU
CAN WE NOT CONVERSE THROUGH EMAIL?
I’M SORRY
SORRY FOR UNDERSTANDING THIS ONLY WORKS ONE WAY
I HAVE A PHONE CALL PHOBIA,
ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION
I CANNOT ANSWER YOUR CALL
AND I CANNOT FEEL ANYMORE LIKE A FAILURE FOR THAT
I KNOW I’M A LOSER
WITH MY TEETH FALLING OUT AND MY HEALTH FAILING
BECAUSE I CANNOT MAKE A PHONE CALL TO
THE DENTIST OR DOCTOR’S
I AM WELL AWARE OF MY OWN USELESSNESS
THAT I CANNOT EVEN GRIT MY TEETH AND MAKE A PHONE CALL –
THE FIRST STEP FORWARD
ALL THOSE OPPORTUNITIES MISSED –


NOTES

I shared my poem Why Would I Want to Follow the Lives of Famous People? with you and the response was good, so here is another poem from the yet to be finished or yet to be titled writing project I am working on. A memoir based on my health experiences with depression and anxiety.


Want more poetry? Try Here comes the Sun

herecomesthesun3d.jpg

Shot Stopper

Shot Stopper

aerial view of cross lanes during night time
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I have been with my problems for so long. They are in bags and suitcases at my feet. I have opened each, sighed, and teared up at the memories which come from within. Dithering, I’m not sure which options to take. I wish someone could take the choice away from me. What’s going to set me on the path. To happy, to being fulfilled, to having a sense of belonging, my voice heard. What do I need to do. I’m not sure. Which leads to … doing nothing.


NOTES I shared my poem Why Would I Want to Follow the Lives of Famous People? with you and the response was good, so here is another poem from the yet to be finished or yet to be titled writing project I am working on. A memoir based on my health experiences with depression and anxiety.


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I just want to be at home in my own skin. A poem.

I just want to be at home in my own skin

little-houses-1149379_1920.jpg
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

So unhappy with yourself //
you spend your time picking at me with your mouth //
sighs that indicate to me //
you are dissatisfied //
with the clothes i wear //
the noise i make in stacking baking tins //
the objects i keep //
sentimental value you do not appreciate //

even with all my sensitivities //

i know this is not my fault //

i feel caged in your criticism //
but i am not wearing short skirts and lipstick for you //
or asking for your approval anymore //
i am doing them for me //

NOTES

I shared my poem Why Would I Want to Follow the Lives of Famous People? with you on this blog last week and the response was good, so here is another poem from the yet to be finished, or yet to be titled, writing project I am working on. A memoir based on my health experiences with depression and anxiety.


Want more poetry? Try Here comes the Sun

herecomesthesun3d.jpg