Hello. I thought I would do a quick cover reveal of my next chapbook, A Love Like This. It’s made up of a bunch of short poems on a toxic, shitty relationship that I experienced when I was younger. It surprised me how many poems I wrote on this period of my life, a lot of them written during the relationship. I wrote all the time when I was younger. It has some light-hearted moments, the poems have a darker, cynical edge to them. I will update you when I have more info. In the meantime, if you want to read some of my poems you can get my chapbook Pocket Poems – 12 micro-poems on travel and a few of them are fun, silly little moments I experienced. https://payhip.com/KLPoetry
Well, April was a shit month, wasn’t it? Utterly shit. Thanks depression, love you too. But it wasn’t all bad. Here’s a list of Good Stuff that happened.
The sun came out. Yes, I actually got to feel the sun on my face.
I had one good day where I took a selfie and thought I like how I look. No flaws there. Even the bags under my eyes looked cute. Here is the selfie. (Yes, my hair usually does its own thing)
I finally purchased a plastic tub to put my shampoos and shower gels in, to store in a cupboard, so they were not laid out on the floor. Yes, I tidied up my shit.
Laura Woods took over from Alan Brazil on Talksport’s Sports Breakfast in the mornings on radio (This sentence is so broken, I could have put that better) I’m happy she got the job and it wasn’t given to another man.
Bizarrely I was approved for some amazing books on Netgalley. I mean, Amazing. I spent all of April reading. I binged on books. Not sick though.
I started to blog again, mainly because I got a Wi-Fi connection. Hoo – bloody – ray. #luxuriesyoucanbarelyafford
I also, in April, started holding myself to account when it comes to ticking off the things on my To Do list. I downloaded the Microsoft To Do app and it feels great to be able to tick things off. If I use paper, it doesn’t work. You basically end up collecting bits of paper with the shit on it you meant to have got done in November. Which means it all builds up, I become overwhelmed and then I procrastinate.
That brings me onto another point, I deleted some of the apps on my phone that were not serving me. They were distracting me, which is needed sometimes, but you can’t be distracted 24/7 because then you are avoiding life (how long did it take me to learn that? Far too fucking long)
I submitted a few poems to Fly on the Wall press’ call for food themed poetry for the next issue of their magazine. I started the year with the aim of submitting m writing again and it started well and then tailed off because of the aforementioned To Do lists. Plus my confidence in myself is so screwed, I get into the mindset of why try and get published when so many people’s writing is far better. Which is rich because when I do read my poetry, I think that’s pretty good Kate, not bad. Then I read some of the reviews on my books, which people have read (and I need to stop saying which) and get a boost from that too. So I need to stop going on a negative bender. I need to tell those negative thoughts to fuck off more often. Not easy when depressed, not easy. We can try. It is May first. The opportunities are endless.
OK. Turns out I was wrong. I had depression, but April was full of progress too. Let me know in the comments how your April was.
So unhappy with yourself // you spend your time picking at me with your mouth // sighs that indicate to me // you are dissatisfied // with the clothes i wear // the noise i make in stacking baking tins // the objects i keep // sentimental value you do not appreciate //
even with all my sensitivities //
i know this is not my fault //
i feel caged in your criticism // but i am not wearing short skirts and lipstick for you // or asking for your approval anymore // i am doing them for me //
I shared my poem Why Would I Want to Follow the Lives of Famous People? with you on this blog last week and the response was good, so here is another poem from the yet to be finished, or yet to be titled, writing project I am working on. A memoir based on my health experiences with depression and anxiety.
It’s May! Warmer weather is hopefully on its way. Everything is blooming. And I won’t have to wear at least five layers of clothing.
This week I have been out and about. Four times! (I think. I update my records very sporadically)
Some good stuff that has happened this week:
On a couple of occasions I haven’t wanted to go out and I started to feel anxious, which usually makes me roll over and admit defeat. Not this week. I found my shoes and went outside.
I went clothes shopping. I spoke about that in my blog post here before. I wanted some clothes that I actually feel good in and I’m not constantly tugging on and trying to hide the parts of me I don’t like. I have never been happier with a two pound tshirt!
I ate an orange this week too. I cut it into quarters and the taste was so hydrating. I’m still thinking about that orange! 🍊😂
Speaking of food I only ate one takeaway this week. I’m normally a fuck it let’s order something person. But takeaway food is like a one night stand. Seems good at the time, then in the morning you’re looking at it in the cold light of day and 😷
(That’s a poor analogy. Sorry)
I feel sorry for my partner eating the same crap I do. I wouldn’t like to inflict my terrible eating habits on him. No one deserves that!
Also, I would love to have some more readers for my book Here comes the Sun. I would be so happy if you could check it out on Amazon Barnes&Noble or The Book Depository. It’s summery, and in it I talk about relationships, my anxiety, connections and changes. It has many poetic insights. It has 60 pages. Even if you could just share a link or something with any other readers you think may be interested I would love that!
Do share in the comments what good stuff has happened for you this week!